The Mind is a terrible Thing

A COWBOY NAMED BUD

Axe Wielding Maniac — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 02:48:48 +0000

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, 'If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?'

Top Ten Rejected Titles for the G.W. Bush Movie

Axe Wielding Maniac — Sat, 02 Feb 2008 06:19:10 +0000

Top Ten Rejected Titles for the G.W. Bush Movie 10. "Raging Bull" 9. "The Nightmare Before Hillary" 8. "White Men Can't Govern" 7. "When Sally Met Cheney's Daughter"

The richest fictional character is..

Axe Wielding Maniac — Wed, 22 Nov 2006 02:03:41 +0000

NEW YORK, Nov 20 (Reuters Life!) - Move over Santa. The red-clad philanthropist has lost the top slot on Forbes magazines' list of the 15 richest fictional characters to defense contractor Oliver "Daddy" Warbucks

Tequila it’s not just for breakfast anymore

Axe Wielding Maniac — Sun, 05 Nov 2006 06:50:31 +0000

Tequila it’s not just for breakfast anymore

Doctors and Guns

Axe Wielding Maniac — Mon, 30 Oct 2006 03:51:12 +0000

Doctors: (A) The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000. (B) Accidental deaths caused by physicians per year are 120,000. (C) Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171. Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept of Health and Human Services.

Pet semitary

Axe Wielding Maniac — Sun, 01 Oct 2006 03:09:35 +0000

A heart warming story!

STORY OF A LITTLE GIRL AND HER DEAD GOLDFISH

How to truly Achieve peace

Axe Wielding Maniac — Sat, 30 Sep 2006 23:07:35 +0000

I am passing this on to you because it definitely works, and we could all use a little more calmness in our lives. By following simple advice heard on the Dr. Phil show, you too can find inner peace. Dr Phil proclaimed, "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started and have never finished."

Two Many Cooks

Axe Wielding Maniac — Sat, 23 Sep 2006 01:25:04 +0000

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. "Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOODNESS! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOODNESS! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never!

Pricless Lizard

Axe Wielding Maniac — Tue, 12 Sep 2006 17:36:32 +0000

Overview: I had to take my son's lizard to the vet. Here's what happened: Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was something "wrong" with one of the two lizards he holds prisoner in his room. "He's just lying there looking sick," he told me. "I'm serious, Dad. "Can you help?" I put my best lizard healer expression on my face and followed him into his bedroom. One of the little lizards was indeed lying on his back, looking stressed. I immediately knew what to do. "Honey," I called, "come look at the lizard!" "Oh, my gosh!" my wife exclaimed. "She's having babies." "What?" my son demanded. "But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom!"

True Patriot wanted

Axe Wielding Maniac — Sun, 03 Sep 2006 00:52:23 +0000

Please for the sake of the country all it would take is one brave man or woman with a strong since of duty