Axe Wielding Maniac

Why ARE Men Happier ?

          Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such
          simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is
          all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate
          is just another snack.

          You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can
          wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt
          to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth.

          The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another
          gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You
          don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a
          bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding
          dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your
          chest when you're talking to them.

          The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
          New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood
          all the time Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds
          flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation
          requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars.
          You get extra credit for the slightest act of
          thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she
          can still be your friend.

          Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of
          shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap
          problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your
          clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color.
          The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only
          have to shave your face and neck.

          You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually
          hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one
          color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how
          your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
          You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

          You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December
          24 in 25 minutes.

          No wonder men are happier!