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Military advice for idiots

"AIM TOWARDS THE ENEMY." - Instruction printed on US Army Rocket
Launcher

"WHEN THE PIN IS PULLED, MR. GRENADE IS NOT OUR FRIEND." - US Marine
Corps

"CLUSTER BOMBING FROM B-52s IS VERY, VERY ACCURATE. THE BOMBS ARE
GUARANTEED TO ALWAYS HIT THE GROUND." - USAF Ammo Troop

"IF THE ENEMY IS IN RANGE, SO ARE YOU." - US Army Infantry Journal

"A SLIPPING GEAR COULD LET YOUR M203 GRENADE LAUNCHER FIRE WHEN YOU
LEAST EXPECT IT. THAT WOULD MAKE YOU QUITE UNPOPULAR IN WHAT'S LEFT
OF YOUR UNIT." - US Army's Magazine of Preventive Maintenance

"IT IS GENERALLY INADVISABLE TO EJECT DIRECTLY OVER THE AREA YOU'VE
JUST BOMBED." - US Air Force manual

"TRY TO LOOK UNIMPORTANT; THE ENEMY MAY BE LOW ON AMMO." - US Army
Infantry Journal

"TRACERS WORK BOTH WAYS." - US Army Ordnance

"FIVE-SECOND FUSES ONLY LAST THREE SECONDS." - US Army Infantry
Journal

"BRAVERY IS BEING THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS YOU'RE AFRAID." - David
Hackworth

"IF YOUR ATTACK IS GOING TOO WELL, YOU'RE WALKING INTO AN AMBUSH." -
US Army Infantry Journal

"NO COMBAT-READY UNIT HAS EVER PASSED INSPECTION." - Joe Gay

"ANY SHIP CAN BE A MINESWEEPER . . ONCE." - Anon

"NEVER TELL THE PLATOON SERGEANT YOU HAVE NOTHING TO DO." - Unknown
Marine Recruit  (This spans across all the services)

"DON'T DRAW FIRE; IT IRRITATES THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU." - US Army
infantry Journal

"IF YOU SEE A BOMB TECHNICIAN RUNNING, TRY TO KEEP UP WITH HIM." -
USAF Ammo Troop

Posted on Monday, February 28, 2005 at 01:08AM by Registered CommenterAxe Wielding Maniac | Comments Off

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