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« Psalm 2004 | Main | Real Life Cybersex »
Monday
Dec062004

The Pillsbury Doughboy Obituary 

The Pillsbury Doughboy Obituary 
 
 
Veteran Pillsbury spokesman Pop N. Fresh died
Yesterday of a severe yeast infection. He was 71.
 
Known to friends as Brown-n-Serve, Fresh was an avid
Gardener and tennis player. Fresh was buried in one of
The largest funeral ceremonies in recent years. 
 
Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs.
Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Aunt
Jemima, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and
Skippy. The graveside was piled high with flours as
Longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy,
Describing Fresh as a man who "never knew how much he
Was kneaded."
 
Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later
Life was filled with many turnovers. He was not
considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his
dough on half-baked schemes -- conned by those who
buttered him up.
 
Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model
for millions. Fresh is survived by his second wife.
They have two children and another bun in the oven.
The funeral was held at 350 for about 20 minutes. 
 

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