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« Rooster | Main | The Secret »
Saturday
Dec182004

Dear Mom

dear, mom
A mother enters her daughter's bedroom and sees a
letter over the bed. With the worst premonition, she
reads it with trembling hands:

Dear Mom,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm telling
you thatI have eloped with my new boyfriend.

I'll admit I guess I was attracted to him for all the
wrong reasons, with all his piercing, tattoos, and his
big motorcycle.

I know what we have together is true love, real
passion and he is so nice to me.

But not only that Mom, I'm pregnant and Ahmed said
that we will be very happy in his trailer in the
woods.

He wants to have many more children with me and that's
one of my dreams.

I've learned that marijuana doesn't hurt anyone and
we'll be growing it for us and his friends, who are
providing us with all the cocaine and ecstasies we may
want.

In the meantime, we'll pray for the scientists to find
the AIDS cure, for Ahmed to get better, he deserves
it.

Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how
to take care of myself. Just please try to be happy
for me.

Some day we'll visit so you can get to know your
grandchildren, I promise.

Your daughter, Judith

PS: Mom, none of the above is true. I'm at the
neighbor's house. I just wanted to show you that there
are worse things in life than the report card that's
in my desk drawer...

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