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« The Presidential Medal of Freedom awarded to the Three Stooges | Main | Mortgaged Dreams »
Saturday
Dec182004

MILITARY RULES FOR THE NON-MILITARY PERSONNEL


 
Dear Civilians,
We know that the current state of affairs in our great nation have many
civilians up in arms and excited to join the military. For those of you
who can't join, you can still lend a hand. Here are a few of the areas 
we would like your assistance with:
 
1) The next time you see an adult talking during the playing of the
National Anthem ... kick their ass.
 
2) When you witness firsthand someone burning the American Flag in 
protest ... kick their ass.
 
3) Regardless of the rank they held while they served, pay the highest
amount of respect to all veterans. If you see anyone doing otherwise,
quietly pull them aside and explain how these Veterans fought for the 
very freedom they bask in every second. Enlighten them on the many 
sacrifices these Veterans made to make this Nation great. Then hold 
them down while a Disabled Veteran kicks their ass.
 
4) If you were never in the military, DO NOT pretend that you were.
Wearing battle dress uniforms (BDU's), telling others that you used to 
Be "Special Forces," and collecting GI Joe memorabilia, might have been 
Okay if you were still seven. Now, it will only make you look stupid and 
get your ass kicked.
5) If you witness someone calling an enlisted Marine "Sir," stand back
...a Marine will kick their ass.
 
6) Next time you come across an Air Force member, do not ask them, "Do 
you fly a jet?" Not everyone in the Air Force is a pilot. Such ignorance 
deserves an ass kickin (children are exempt).
 
7) Roseanne Barr's singing of the National Anthem is not a blooper ... 
it was a disgrace and disrespectful. Laugh, and sooner or later your ass will be kicked.
 
8) Next time Old Glory prances by during a parade, get on your damn 
feet and pay homage to her by placing your hand over your heart. Quietly thank 
the military member or veteran lucky enough to be carrying her .....of course,
failure to do either of those could earn you a severe ass kicking.
 
9) What Jane Fonda did during the Vietnam War makes her the enemy. The
proper word to describe her is "traitor." Just mention her nomination 
for "Woman of the Year" and get your ass kicked..
 
10) Don't try to discuss politics with a military member or a veteran.
We are Americans and we all bleed the same regardless of our party
affiliation. Our Chain of Command, is to include our commander in 
Chief. The President(for those who didn't know) is our CIC regardless of 
political party.. We have no inside track on what happens inside those big
important buildings where all those "representatives" meet. All we know is
that when those civilian representatives screw up the situation, they call
upon the military to go straighten it out. The military member might direct
you to Oliver North. (I can see him kicking your ass already.)
 
11) "Your mama wears combat boots" never made sense to me ... stop 
saying it! If she did, she would most likely be a vet and probably kick your ass!
 
12) Bin Laden and the Taliban are not communists, so stop saying "Let's 
go kill those Commie's!!!" And stop asking us where he is!!!! Crystal 
balls are not standard issue in the military. That reminds me ... if you 
see anyone calling those damn psychic phone numbers; let me know,
so I can go kick their ass.
 
13) Bus Driver, Jar Head, Grunt, Swabbie etc, are terms of endearment 
we use describing each other. Unless you are a service member or vet, 
you have not earned the right to use them. Could get your ass kicked.
 
14) Last but not least, whether or not you become a member of the 
military, support our troops and their families. Every Thanksgiving 
and religious holiday that you enjoy with family and friends please
remember that there are, literally, thousands of troops overseas wishing
they could be with their families.
 
Thank God for our military and the sacrifices they make every day. 
Without them, our country would get its ass kicked.

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